Somebody
Sent Me

Good news.
Bad news.
Not my news.

You have something to say. I have a phone. Breakups, birthdays, apologies, neighbor complaints, and the very specific thing you have been putting off.

Schedule your message now

End it. Celebrate it. Make it weird.

End it Break up, decline a second date, or cancel plans you keep avoiding.

Celebrate it Birthdays, new jobs, graduations, engagements, and good news worth a call.

Confess it Apologize, say you miss them, tell them you love them, or ask them out.

Complain about it Cuss out your neighbor over midnight karaoke, or ask your roommate to clean the kitchen. No threats.

Roast them Birthday jokes, borrowed hoodies, and completely unnecessary group chat grievances.

Make it weird A ridiculous pep talk, an inside joke, or a message from the family dog.

Don't see your situation? That's what the message box is for. And yes, swearing is available.

He takes the job seriously.

The assignments are another matter. Some people deliver packages. The Messenger delivers conversations.

Don't shoot the messenger. He's an envelope.

A real person makes the calls. The envelope is the on-screen character.

One message. One recipient. $25.

Straightforward, heartfelt, funny, or spicy. You choose the tone.

$25

Message-delivery call

Your message, delivered by phone or voicemail. Up to two attempts and an update afterward.

+$10

Custom poem

Sweet, funny, romantic, or a roast. Give me a few details and I'll write a short original poem. Total: $35.

Schedule your message now

Schedule your message now.

Give me the assignment. Preferred times help me plan, but I can only promise a specific time if I confirm it with you.

I don't sell your information. Want to stay anonymous? Leave your name out.

How should I deliver it?
How should I introduce you?

Calls are recorded. Selected calls may become clips on my social media. If they don't answer, I'll leave a voicemail. That counts as delivery.

Before you send it.

What if they don't answer?

I'll leave a voicemail. That counts as delivery. If I can't reach them or leave a voicemail after two attempts, you receive a refund.

Can I stay anonymous?

Yes. Choose “Keep me anonymous” and you won't be asked for your name.

Will the call be posted?

Calls are recorded. Selected calls may become clips on my social media. A purchase does not guarantee a video.

Can you swear?

Yes. Profanity is available. Threats aren't. I also decline harassment, impersonation, fabricated serious accusations, and attempts to get around someone blocking contact.

Can you help me write it?

Yes. Tell me the point, the tone, and anything I must or must not say. I'll help shape the wording without changing your meaning.

How soon will you call?

Tell me the best times to try. I'll confirm timing with you. A preferred window is not a guaranteed appointment.